Collective Bargaining...

If you know us, you are probably aware of our "snack bandit." It's an issue that we've dealt with for years the source of many frustrating moments. Cakes, brownies, fruit snacks, cookies or any other sugar-laden treat has a particular motto in our house: now you see it, now you don't.

It's not that I don't want the kids to have treats, it just that they eat them all in one sitting and I usually don't get any. I love treats, too. The only thing standing between me and the 20 lbs I want to lose is dessert. And carbs...I love carbs, too.

Anywhoo...I picked up a couple of boxes of fruit snacks to take whenever we've got a game or something afterschool and we can't get home for snack. Well, last night, I noticed that someone, perhaps a group of three girls or one solitary eight year old, but someone had picked off one entire box of fruit treats.

I'll fast forward through the usually denials and emphatic finger pointing and move on to the fun part. Well, in order to get the guilty part to fess us, I usually have to throw them all under the bus and threaten to ground them all from the computer and the Wii if no one 'fesses up. This method always creates more peer pressure than I could ever generate with threats.

Then, the most important part...I leave the room.

The girls are left to hash/beat/cajole/threaten each other if the guilty party doesn't come clean, kinda like a collective bargaining session. There are bribes for coming clean. Periodically, there's a threat of minor bodily harm or the always effective "I won't let you come in my room anymore" threat. Typically, this process only takes about 1/2 hour. I know things are coming to a head when one of the non-guilty parties is sent to me bringing the following statement: "So, what's the punishment for the one who did it?"

I dunno...depends on how I'm feeling that day. Depends on how long it takes them to come back to me.

Last night, I had two words for the union gathered in my dining room...No Deal.

The non-guilty party scurried back in the room and frantic whispering ensued. I wasn't in any mood to make a deal because I know who swiped the treats.

A few minutes later, the guilty party shuffled into the kitchen with a meek smile and spilled her story. After I conducted the all-important verification process (this is to make sure that her sisters weren't making her the 'fall guy'), I thanked her for telling the truth.

Then I took away her Webkins, which is a fate worse than a spanking and grounding put together.

I don't always win, but when I do, good for me.